A Second Try

 In my last post I wrote a little letter to Jane, but I was never quite satisfied with the result. After much thought, I have come to the realization that I don't know Edmund Bertram enough to know what he would have said. I don't really like him enough to know him enough. Please don't mistake my meaning, I do like Edmund, but really only for Fanny's sake. He never did anything to prove he was worth liking for his own sake, in my opinion.
 Anyway, after coming to this conclusion, I have decided to write one more letter. I am aware that it is to late to enter it into the contest, but as this letter is only to satisfy myself that I can, indeed, sympathize with a character. I can truly get to know them (an important skill for an authoress to possess I assure you), and essentially become them in order to write from their perspective. Here it is...


Dear Miss Austen,
 I have just had it from my cousin, Mr. Collins, that I am to congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth-day. I am afraid that this missive is rather late, but as I suppose you have been rather jolly in celebration, you won't be much put out by it. 
 Now, in answer to the questions put to me in your last letter. Yes, I rather like my sons-in-law. Mr. Wickham is perhaps the favored one, he simpers and smirks and makes love to us all. 
  Now, Mr. Bingley, though a very handsome character I'm sure, has no quality which I can laugh at, save the absence of such a quality itself. I know my daughter to be very happy as his wife, but that is all I can say for him, he is no conversationalist, something, as you well know, I must have in an acquaintance, if nothing else. 
  Mr. Darcy, an improvement to Mr. Collins as a life partner for my dear Lizzy, though he slighted her at first. I am very happy with him as a son-in-law. He is the sort of man to whom I cannot deny anything. I wouldn't dare it. He is pleasant enough when he makes up his mind to be so. He is also the sort of man to say his mind when asked for it. Not like Mr. Wickham in any respect, who says what he supposes in want of being heard. No, Darcy would indeed speak truth when asked. But not a moment before.  I, in turn, do not ask for it. Oh yes, we get along splendidly.
  I am rather a happy man, thanks to you dear lady. Despite having heard not two words of sense spoken together since Lizzy was married. But after reading some of your other delightful works, my lot in life seems delightful. 
 I remain your most interesting character,
                       Mr. Bennet